On Cricket by Kevin Pietersen – digested read

I love my family and I love cricket. In that order. So let me put this on the record straight away. When those complete cu – I mean those really thoughtful and intelligent cricket strategists, Straussy and Cooky, two of the best guys you could ever hope to meet – dropped me from the international squad, I was happy to take it on the chin. Despite what people say, KP is not a cricketer with a big ego. There’s nothing I like more than just sitting at home with Jess, staring at myself in the mirror. Nor was I in any way disappointed when England surprised everyone by winning the Ashes and even Piers Morgan and Tom Holland stopped their incessant tweets demanding my recall. Because KP always has been and always will be a team player.

In cricket, as in life, we all have to move on and I think it’s time to let bygones be bygones. When I wrote my autobiography two years ago, I didn’t anticipate that slagging off every England cricketer I had ever played with might put a few people’s backs up. What I said was always intended as constructive criticism – a chance to use my genius to improve English cricket for decades to come – rather than to settle some old scores with a bunch of losers. But I see now that some people might not have been ready for that approach, so I want to put the record straight now. If I did call some of you miserable shits miserable shits, I didn’t mean it. And please, please don’t forget me. My phone hasn’t rung for days.

So I’m writing this book not to try and crawl my way back into the England team by proving that I can be as dull and boring as the rest of them, but to put the record straight. And to remind a few of those who might have forgotten who KP was just how brilliant KP is. Let me tell you this. I know I sometimes have a brash exterior that can rub people up the wrong way, but deep down KP feels just as vulnerable as those, like Matt Prior, with more cause to feel stressed. Because KP hates letting people down. That’s the trouble with setting yourself such high standards.

I would also like to correct another misimpression left by my last book. When I said I had left South Africa because the new quota system was preventing me from getting into the national team because I was white, I was actually misquoting myself. I now quite understand that some black cricketers were born with disadvantages, and the reason I came to England was to make it easier for them to get into the South African side. Because obviously it would have been very difficult for the Saffer selectors not to pick me.

One question I am almost never asked these days, because no one really cares about anything I say or do any more, is: “When did you realise you were the best batsman in the world?” The answer is quite simple. Very early on, though I would also like to say I’ve had to work very hard on my brilliance. To become quite so obnoxious and disliked by almost everyone I’ve played with is a talent that needs to be worked on every bit as my batting.

And that’s all I’ve got to say really, but as I have another 200 pages to fill I’m going to copy out a few bits from my autobiography and pad it out with some stuff you can find in any coaching manual. Playing fast bowling is very demanding so I always made sure I was awake and switched on before going out to bat. The key was to block out the good balls and try to score off the bad ones: above all I was always keen never to let a bowler dominate me. The best fast bowler I ever faced was (note to ghost writer: put in anyone as long he’s not English).

Playing spin bowling is very demanding so I always made sure I was awake and switched on before going out to bat. The key was to block out the good balls and try to score off the bad ones: above all I was always keen never to let a bowler dominate me. The best spin bowler I ever faced was (note to ghost writer: put in anyone as long he’s not English).

Have I said how difficult it is being KP? Always being under pressure to score runs, because I was the best player in the side, was never easy and I always tried to make life easy for everyone else in the dressing room. Cricket is a team game. No one should ever forget that.